Has it not been enough!?

You spent all your energy and put in a hundred and ten bloody percent into the things you do. The result was a let down. It wasn’t anywhere close to what you were trying to archieve. In the pursue of happiness, you sacrificed a few things just to only find out that it was impossible afterall. You look up to the farthest of your vision and asked, “Has it not been enough!?”

Tell me you’ve experienced that but don’t tell me you’ve given up trying in life.

The truth is, we don’t fall that easily. We may take a bit of time and if we are not spoilt enough, we would stand up again to fight. Analyze our mistakes and attempt again with caution. What if there were no mistakes done? Is just the damn luck and that bloody misfortune. We still stand again and move on.

How much does it take to get there and how much does it take to give up?

For those who’re sad, depressed and lost; you’re not alone. Stand up and keep walking! For those who has given up everything in life but has no courage to end your life; you’re a bloody eyesore. Is true that we can’t control everything in life. Is true that we can’t predict the future. But if we’ve tried and done enough, we bear no regrets and blame no one. Life is at its fullest only when we strive.

Just my 2 cents.

Reconnaissance

A reconnaissance was needed today. The mission was to get a desert. “WHAT? Desert in Malaysia?” my colleague, Thina responded. “Yup! I know….” I replied. It was 8.30am when we meet up at the office this morning. My superior gave us the order to shoot a beach at its lowest tide.

Obviously, the Malaysians have very little knowledge on desert. That is because, WE AIN’T GOT NO BLOODY DESERT HERE, GOD DAMN IT!! Oh well, the job remains that we would look for something similar. A washed down beach seems to be able to work as suggested to the client and they agreed. Unbelievable if you ask me.

So Thina and I head down to the west coast at the time of it’s lowest tide. It was 10.10am for today. The sand was wet, the clouds were bloody thick and they were a whole kingdom full of mini sand crabs burrowing themselves as soon as we approach them. “Which part of this look like a desert?” Thina asked. “Everything man, everything!” I replied with sarcasm. At any case, we did our job with little time to spare as I manage to take a few other pictures for myself. Presenting……(drum roll)……2 lost souls!!

“As the sea retreats to unbind them, they stand rooted only to wait for the sea to come back.” this thought plagued me when I saw them. Feels like they would love to uproot themselves and run towards the horizon.

We could have run to the horizon but only to find ourselves meeting the sea once again. Or we shall run backwards and die for not rooting ourselves.

Robin: Holy roots, Batman! They ain’t getting anywhere now.
Batman: Oh dear…..they are just some bloody trees.

By the end of it, we manage to get the pictures we needed and got everything covered just in time. Again, with a little price to pay. Someone ran towards my colleague and yanked my colleague’s undie from him (while he was still wearing it) and throw it up the tree.

It was indeed a great morning!

Fight! We’ll get there, baby!!

I’ve been trying to write this in a subtle way for days now and I can’t do it. Sigh….I’m trying very hard to write about this recent event in my life. Bottom line, I’m trying to write about hopes. Hopes and dreams and goals and what not; ….is….just….so….bloody….important….to….us….all. Don’t you agree? It takes guts, brute strength to hope. Fear nothing; not even disappointment. Fear makes us all weak. We all know that and many has emphasize it. “But we can’t deny fear” you say. I say, “Bullshit!”. I devour fear. Let’s leave roaches and snakes out of this topic for now, all right!?

I’m sure everyone of us had that experience of hoping and only getting disappointed at the end. Then we learn to say, “Let’s not bring my hopes up high…” Once beaten, twice shy; we’ve learned to be realistic and logical over what we should ever expect. We’ve learnt to be just another average person in this world. We lead a realistic life and play safe. We allow ourselves to stay within the boundaries of possibility. Didn’t Adidas say, ‘Impossible is Nothing’? Against all odds; have you fought enough to claim victory?

Here’s one to think about. A couple started a relationship and lies ahead is a separation for at least 4 years. Not being able to be there for the other. What are the odds like? If we really take a moment and think about it, this doesn’t seem to be able to work out. Tell me what’s needed to keep this relationship going? Everything? Everything you can bloody think of!!

If there’s enough faith for each other, then is not something impossible anymore. Just be good enough for it. Conquer everything that’s needed to get there. What did they say about me taking my car back from the States? I swear no one was supportive enough. But if I can just do it and prove myself right, I couldn’t care about who’s wrong. By the end of the day, I’m the happy one. You’re right. Only the one that went through would know. Then it becomes a shame to those who feared. Those who shy-ed away from these brave actions.

For those who don’t know me well. I eat failures for breakfast. Is not as thought I haven’t failed before. But I’m no longer afraid of it. Like Crystal who lives by her rule, “Never try, never know!”. To me everything in life is only worthy if you earn it. Freebies are great only for that brink of a moment. Think about it. How rich is your life?

Walk away, you lose. Fight, you’re half way there!

“If you’re afraid of defeat, then get stronger.
If you’re afraid that you can’t protect your friends,
then get stronger and swear you’ll protect them!
If you’re afraid of the hollow inside you,
then keep getting stronger until you can crush it!”
Kuchiki Rukia, Bleach

Premonition II

So it seems to have been quite a peaceful weekend…….

….and my earlier permonition was wrong.  Lucky……..

Well, wWe enjoyed ourselves and the company of each other. Dad loved being up the mountain for the fresh air. Especially it helped him to breath better. Mom hated it for being run-down. Crystal was utterly being herself by tormenting her parents and her brother. Amazing woman!!

Anyhow, it was very enjoyable. We manage to see some places and things that we don’t get to see often enough.  

I love those nice ‘ol buildings preserving their heritage. Wish I got a SLR…….

Whatever it is, I was glad that the premonition didn’t come true.

Premonition

A weekend reunion it seems. This family I was born in has quite a character. The old man is fat and usually calm but never to be tested. Recently, his health has deteriorate to quite a fatal depth. Though he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, the woman of his life seems overly jumpy over this issue. This is no surprise. My mom is famous for being jumpy, paranoid, unyieldingly demanding, commanding…..need I say more? Her nickname, ‘machine gun’ is not to be under estimated. She earned every letter in that nickname. Her talent to nag without a single pause for breathe further earns her the legendary title. She’s definitely my heroin!!  But I swear…….she can also be a nightmare. But I love you, mom!!

Moving on…..the person that represents darkness to me. She torments me mentally. Mocks me since the day I was born. Kidnap me when she’s not in good terms with the family. Please….do not deny the “Let’s go play some sand” incident. Her uncompromising commands on living objects represents her terror and evil intention. I present my one and only sister, Crystal. Her talent to turn day to night should never be doubted.

Soon enough, these special beings are gonna have a reunion over this weekend. With plenty of past experience, I am unable to escape this premonition of a huge roar. Battle between The Machine Gun and The Darkness. I would pray that would not be the case.

Happy Deepavali!!

If only you could be here, baby…..!