Archive for February, 2008

21
Feb
08

Chase the Light

Like a bug, we chase after the light. The light that would promise us happiness and warmth. As oppose to a slimy death on the lens of the headlight.

But this journey has only just begun. The objective is to head in to the darkest, keep going and reach the promised light. Afterall, it really doesn’t sound so difficult. Take this step and head into the darkness at the far sight. Believe this is true and keep walking. Trust this will lead you to that light you’ve been chasing for.

But this is the real challenge. Is really not that simple as it sounds. To chase the light, one must chase the darkness. Keep in mind that there will be light in the end. It will be agonizing. You’ll be anxious. Then you’ll try too hard and loses the grip. You’ll fall. Injure yourself and the one who believed in you.

Stand up now! Breath again and pace your way forward. Keep that mind simple and stay true to the objective. Forward……a step after another……forward…..

Like it’s being promised. Endure the years and the light will come. Now that the light is in sight it will be easier. Keep chasing towards it. The light is true. Keep that motion still and not let anything waver your vision. It will be rewarding. Like it was promised years ago. At the end this last picture can only be seen by those who believed and withstand all challenges.

We will see this picture together, won’t we?

15
Feb
08

100+morphine

Take that band. Tie up that ponytail. Lightly hop around to loosen those muscles in your legs. Close your eyes and take two steps back. Take a deep breathe. Continue to move your legs and start moving your arms around making sure the joints are not too stiff. Stop! Open your eyes and stare at the furthest point in this meadow. Now, focus all your energy to your legs for this exploding sprint. Run! Focus only at that furthest point. Keep that breathing regular and never slow down even for that split second.

For this once, be irresponsible. Ignore what is behind and take this step. Even when the legs are getting weak. Nothing stops till you reach that point.

Close your eyes. Catch your breathe. Focus on the sound of the nature. That free bird calling out to that caged man. That cool breeze caressing your skin. Slowly open up your eyes and allow the clouds to greet you. Watch them sway by to unveil that far away blue silk. Close your eyes again. Think nothing. The time has stopped. You can have all the moments you want now. Rest. Just rest enough.

I’ll just be here holding on to that 100plus for you.

I am trying to be that guy in there….. 

14
Feb
08

Blood Colored Festival

Cloths hung around buildings and road lamps. Papers residue scattered around the porch proves an illegal movement of firecrackers. Hundreds of lanterns hung around the temples as decorations. Tiny packets containing money ready to give out to the young ones. That blouse, that t-shirt; where was blossom; they are all in red. No…..red is not communism here but a great long tradition of the Chinese best known festival; Chinese New Year.

Perhaps my favorite festival. A long holiday is usually guaranteed. The familiar faces of these people I call family smile once again. High school friends could get together once again catching up about nothing that’s left off. Shandy, mandarin oranges, love letters, ‘rou-kan’ and all those festive food except for those bloody ‘heong peng’, attended the festival.

24 years of family reunion in that old house of ours. We seem to have grown too big for that house now. And there were new faces to the family in these recent years. This year, 2 were added to it. Instantly they bonded with the family and everyone seems to be very comfortable with their presence. I’m only glad.

For 2 nights! We were just out in the porch chatting till weeeeeee hours. First night, dad was drinking his damn whiskey cracking out stupid jokes. The rest of us sat there, listened and laughed. We robbed silence away from the night. But there were firecrackers breaking into the silence as well. At one point, she couldn’t stand those noise anymore. She barks towards the direction of the sound. “Poch! Poch!! Shut up!”, I yelled. It was indeed lively.

Unconventionally having a barbecue on the second night of Chinese New Year. Gee…..that idea must have come out from some rebels. And I think I know who the rebel is. What do think, Crystal??

Saba Shioyaki was good though.

That same night we walked down the road of my childhood. That familiar see-saw, swing and what not. I still can’t believe they aluminum-ed that damn slide. Feels so wrong. I could still feel that cold old wood at the side of my arms as I slide down. When was that though? 20 years back or so. Maybe. But how did it stayed in my memory in such vivid colors like it was yesterday?

She wanted to smoke and we ended up walking along with her; the most trusted person of all. She was saying so much I thought it would have freak you out. Perhaps not. It was a lovely stroll. Think I can do that every night holding the same hand. What say you?

Third day of the Chinese New Year. Is like a tradition among the group of friends I have here. We’ll visit each other’s houses and have a fabulous dinner to mark another year of our friendship. Must have been about 14 or 15 years of knowing these morons. Now, everybody is getting more and more mature. Life’s been more occupied with work, love and whatever else. Even so, friendship still stays strong.

Now, I wish you all, Gong Xi Fa Chai Happy Valentine’s Day!!

13
Feb
08

wait

Unable to focus and concentrate well recently, I’ve become even more forgetful than usual. Is horrible. Small things and details are no longer visible in my sight. My mind keeps swaying away to those obstacles in front. I know I had to work hard. This new chapter post a lot of risk and happiness is easily attainable. New motivation is pushing me hard and I will just have to work my way to it. New resolutions are set and I’m making sure I’m sticking to it. She will be gone soon. No longer being able to reach without burning a hole in my pocket. Money has become more important. Lifestyle will change and new commitments will come in. Everyone thinks I’m not good enough for her. The way how things are now, this life don’t look too interesting. And I’m only closing this one chapter.

Baby, I know you’re busy and all. I won’t wanna ask you for more time. You go get busy with your things. I’ll just wait.