Don’t Call Me Nino!!

Oh you bloody whore…..when was the last bloody time I had such an awful day? Everything or rather every-fucking-one was going against me. Got a damn plan worked out for this week and next since last fucking Saturday but everything is fucking wobbling now as though nothing is gonna bloody work out. Looking at my history, this trend shows the beginning of a gruesome nightmare as though the worst is sitting, waiting for me to get there. Don’t think I’ve change much recently because I’m still the same ‘ol me who would yell out, “Bring it on, you son of a gun!!”

Here’s the great list of fucked-up events (in a god damn day):

1. Last minute invited to a buddy’s engagement only to drive other people there. Couldn’t make it though, but was blamed for not being a good friend. Good one!

2. Send in a bloody Nikon 50mm lens for servicing and was promised to be done by Tuesday. Yeah shithead; is fucking Wednesday today. Keep putting it off and I swear I’ll make a bloody scene there on Friday!

3. Was to be informed about a set of rims I was desperate to get on Tuesday. Again, is fucking Wednesday. You bet I tried calling ya but you’re fucking screening your calls aren’t you? The owner said I can take the rims!!! GOD DAMN YOU, MIDDLE-MAN!!

4. Things were promised to get better on 17th but is now pushed to 18th. Ouchh….

5. And I have no freaking idea if your ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend. I haven’t spoken to her since god knows when. Don’t bloody make it sound like I’m bloody responsible for it!

For some reason, I’m the only one being affected here it seems. I’m responsible for others welfare and fuck shit….why in the hell that mine is not being taken care of. As of now, everything and everyone is so fucking artificial. Selfish buggers. DIE! Worse is gonna come. And if you see Mr.Worse, tell him I’m waiting for his sorry ass!

DIE!

Brink of Sanity

You felt like you’ve lost the sense of love towards her. Even so, you constantly convince and remind yourself that you still love her. So much which you believe that you truly love her. There was no doubt though. We know you love her. Sometimes you expect so much of her and you’ve lost your basic human ability to reason. You’ve lost the will to understand her and could no longer be conscious about her feelings. You believe that this love made you act so and whatever you’re doing is out of love. You shred her heart to make her cry, shout words that would burn her soul, do things that would rip her mind and you claim that was love. You’ve shown yourself as a mindless creature that lived by instinct. Unable to reason but having the ability of a superior being to harm and hurt your love one. You have fallen to such depth possessed by the demon you created within yourself. You gave him the power to conquer over your good self. You gave him strength to hurt her. You killed yourself and her love for you.

“I deserve all this!” you cried to me as if you’ve understood and willing to repent for all your mistakes. You’ve told her the same thing now and you beg for forgiveness. You try to bleed it out and think that you could save it. But she won’t buldge. Of course she won’t! For every inch of scars you left in her, for every drop of tear she cried for you, for every ounce of her sadness….your madness………..you mindless…….freak! You deserved all these!? Oh hell yeah….you deserved all these and a lot more which she would never pursue. How could you? I warned you! You took her kindness for granted. You abused her sweetness. Now you stole 4 years of her life and return her with pain and unwanted memories. You carry this guilt at this point and on to the future forever plague on your future relationships. Has this been worthy, my friend?

You bet I hate you for doing such things, saying those words, hurting her every single time. You think you know it all and you start assuming shit. No….you don’t know shit. In fact, you don’t know shit even about yourself. You’re spoilt and your mom is responsible for that. I hope she knows. I hope she regrets about it and stop blaming others for your mistakes. You failed as a man, as a being that claims to be able to reason. You assume things that she has not done and you broke her heart over and over again. You further crush the shards of her on the ground. Stomping on it over and over again as if you’ve been possessed. You entirely lost yourself. You have no self-control, no dignity, no pride, no soul……you heartless monster rampaging on everything you see! What has she done to deserve all this, my friend?

This is the reality. Not a dream. Not a fiction. Just a splice of your life that you’ll remember and regret for the rest of your life. I know. I understand this. I understand it so well, that it hurts; for I was the exact same piece of shit like you at one point. Cheers, my friend….!!