Good God…is daybreak and I’m bloody awake!

She say is jetlag. I disagree. I think is because I missed her too much. But that would sound really cheesy and she would not miss out a chance to tease me about it. Oh well, I really don’t think I’m having a jetlag. More like I’m having things in my head. You know…like you got a lot to think about. Whatever. So it was 8.53am when I decided for the 7th time for the past 8 hours that I would get at least some shut eye. At least till 9. Then I flip open the not-so-flipping-anymore phone to only realize is bloody 8.53am. 7 freaking minutes to 9am.

So I hop off the bed with these heavy pair of eyes and straight for the bathroom. Took a shower and decide that nothing happens before a good breakfast. As a few hours ago, I told her that I would have Subway for breakfast. They serve pretty good breakfast. Fresh and healthy too. The time to head out is perfect. The peak hour traffic had just subside and the next peak hour is not till 2-3 hours away. I would even have enough time to run an errand if I wanted to. Which of course I wouldn’t miss out the chance. The damn tax refund thing has to be done. Take the envelope, head down to the post office, buy the bloody stamp and drop it into the bloody mail box. Is a 2 minutes job. Perfect for a heavy eyed morning. No brainer too.

Ahh…but the breakfast. This post is about the breakfast. Unfortunately, Subway wasn’t my choice for this particular morning. Though it was last night. But you don’t have breakfast in weeeeeee hours. So that doesn’t count. Where I stay here has got a very intense morning market. They sell, clothings, raw food, cooked food, kitchen wares, shoes, underwear, fruits…..I mean…all kinds of stuff. Like all kinds!! There was this dude selling house lizards as a medication. There you go!

Anyway, the breakfast breakdown…

Yao Char Kuai & Sesame Yao Char Kuai – 1.20 Ringgo
Chow Mai Fun mix Chow Min plus 1 over easy (I didn’t wolf the yolk) – 2.00 Ringgo
1 packet of  Tao Foo Fa – 1.00 Ringgo

Wolf them down in no more than 5 minutes……priceless….

There are some things money just can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mastercard.

And then a good nagging from the one I love so much.

Ahh…now I’m sleepy.

Ja!

a decade past….

10 year ago, life was full of hopes for me. Knowing that I would graduated from high school, enroll myself to a local college and do university and become an architect or an engineer. Having a career like my uncle would give me steady and fulfilling life. Buy a sports car and make that my hobby for the rest of my life. Love the person I love and love her forever. Grow old and enjoy every second I live.

5 years later, I couldn’t do math and didn’t go on with architecture or engineering. Did Mass Communication and decided to become a Film Director. Have great hopes to becoming a prominent filmmaker and make great films and hopefully these films will educate the country I’m living in about 1 or 2 things. Got myself a sports car and enjoyed every bit of it. Have great hopes on making it a great car. Planned all the things and setup that I could do to the car while saving up cash to get it done. Broke off with the girl I loved but the experience wasn’t good enough to pull me down. The journey begins now.

Now…..I’m not doing what I wanted to be in the industry. And this path of being a location manager is not gonna take me any nearer in becoming a film director. I’m only making by and having some debt here and there. Car’s engine blown and now is sitting at home collecting a good amount of dust. Had another 2 more girlfriends and they’ve decided that I’m not the guy they want and I got dumped. The girl I love now can’t stand me anymore and my sensible self is only telling me to let go. My living condition now at home is like shit and I’m responsible over someone else’s responsibility because I find it hard to say no.

Now that I look at it, my life has been quite off the plan. Definitely not how I wanted it to be. I’ve come to a point that I’ve lost my confidence. Lost my dignity as a man and not hoping for anything anymore. Stability in life is a struggle for me everyday. 5 years of striving and no results in return. I constantly evaluate myself and to only realize I’m not good enough for anything I do or I care about. This life I’m having right now is not what I wanted. This shithole I’m stuck in will stain me for the rest of my life. The key now is to get out of this shithole.

Honestly, I’ve attempted all ways to get out and I’m still here. My last resort is to end whatever I could and start all over again.

Really wordless.

An eventful weekend zoomed passed. The joy and happiness that has brought me is not to be explained or elaborated by words. Sure. my vocabularies are not that good. But no matter how hard I try to find the right words, they all seem underrated. Guess I have no choice but to be selfish about this feeling I share with this beautiful princess of mine.

Morphine…..I’m so bloody addicted to you. Even at such wordless condition, I guess I can still say that this thing of us, is real. Real as in not the underrated real. The real, Real.

Fork That Bloody Road

Aye! I forked this freaking damn road. Now is left or right. Which would it be you freaking moron!?

Complicate things to achieve the higher ground. The trick here is to maintain a simple mind and work around this complicated situation you’ve created while your rivals are fogged by the complications. You will gain time for a short while. Bear in mind that this is only for the ambitious ones.

No success is guaranteed. Failure would be huge and may crumble everything. Prepare yourself well . Execution timing has to be accurate. Now do it without regrets!!

So I’ve gone rusty throughout the years. Very rusty!!

Nuff said….!!

Nothing change. Accept it and not fight it. Unme myself.
Took me one hour to write this.